| |||||||||||||||
|
I am a committed Christian – so what do I believe? (read my personal testimony here). I attend The Water's Edge Church in Poole in Dorset
How do you become a Christian? Click here I
had been raised to believe there was a God and I would religiously say the
Lord’s Prayer at night before going to bed. It became a superstitious thing as
a child where I didn’t feel right going to sleep without saying that prayer. My
parents became interested in spiritualism when I was in my early teens and
regularly attended a local church, and held séances in our house every week. My
best friend was my brother, who was three years older than me. Our father was
very Victorian in his fathering, which meant he was definitely the head of the
house and we feared him. He wasn’t physically cruel but emotionally he was
unable to show unconditional love and two phrases we never heard were “I’m
proud of you” and “I love you”. Our house was his castle and the outside
world remained outside. My mum was a very soft hearted lady with very low self
esteem but a heart of gold. At
the age of 17 my brother became a born again Christian. Sometime after this,
like a light switch turns power on and off, his mind flipped and he was
diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. I now know this to be because of the
‘clash of kingdoms’ in our house, where spiritualism clashed with his
Christianity and the battle in his mind became too much for him. The
‘voices’ in his head told him to take his life and he took an overdose of
his prescribed medication. He came to his senses and phoned his friend and told
him what had happened. Unfortunately, my brother died on the way to hospital. After
his death I questioned whether there was a God and what would happen if I died?
I listened to a song called When I survey the wonderous cross, on an album my
brother owned, called ‘Small corners’ by Cliff Richard (you can hear it
below...). The words of the song kind of sunk deep down inside and I prayed that
if there was a God that He would get me to church without my parents worrying
about my sudden interest, in the light of what happened to my brother. A friend
at school asked me to go to her youth group and my parents said I could go. I
heard the gospel for the first time and invited Jesus into my life – which
basically means I knew I needed Him to show me how to live, to admit I was a
sinner (independent from Him, doing what seemed right to me) and to let God be
the one who directed my steps from that point forward. It
isn’t the same for everyone, but for me, I felt like a heavy weight had been
taken off my shoulders. It was then I felt the presence of something at home and
I knew I needed to move out. I moved out on my 18th birthday. I
could write pages on what has happened since that time, of the battles I’ve
had and the battles I’ve won because Jesus Christ has first place in my life.
I have times when I feel I fail, where I don’t do the Lord any favours by my
attitudes or actions but at the end of the day it’s not about me. If it were I
wouldn’t need Jesus and I could get to heaven and get by in life on my own. It
doesn’t work like that. I’m smitten. I can’t live without Jesus because
it’s a transformation that takes place on the inside that permeates to the
outside. He’s changing me little by little and when I mess up I say sorry and
He forgives me without question. I now know the love of a father whose love is unconditional. You can too – see here [return to top of page]
|
|
