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Personal Testimony
DEE’S TESTIMONY
I became a Christian when I was fifteen years old. I say became a Christian, because up until that time, I didn’t know you made a conscious decision about it, I just thought you either believed or you didn’t. I certainly believed in God and said my prayers at night, but other than that, God did not figure in my life much at all.
I had one brother, Colin, who was three years older than me. He was the main reason I even started thinking about the reality of God.
Colin had become very ill. He had a nervous breakdown and was very poorly. He had been in hospital for some time, whilst Doctors tried to help him. It was during a visit home that he took an overdose of his prescribed medication. Despite calling his friend for help and an ambulance arriving, he died on the way to hospital in my Mother’s arms. I was 15 and Colin was 17 (nearly 18).
Back at home, in his bedroom, I put on a record he owned. It was called ‘Small Corners’ by Cliff Richard. Whilst listening to one particular track (When I survey the wondrous cross) I asked that if there was a God that He would get me to church somehow without my parents thinking I was going mad. I had told them I thought my brother was with a bunch of fanatics because at his church they prayed so much. I felt if I now told them I wanted to go to church, the alarm bells would start ringing in their heads.
As with most ‘arrow’ prayers of that type, I quickly forget what I had asked of God. That is, until a friend asked me to go along to the youth group she attended. It was there that I heard, for the first time, about Jesus dying for me. How he loved me.
The minister explained it as coming to a crossroads in our life. We have a choice which road we take, our own path or God’s. When we repent (an old fashioned notion I didn’t take much notice of prior to that) it means we accept our ways were not God’s ways (sin) and that we turn in the opposite direction and take God’s path. That is what I decided to do.
Instead of being ‘super holy’ because I became a Christian, I have realised that it is like a lot of relationships – you make mistakes, you sometime upset the other person, you misunderstand what it is they want for you or from you and it is just plain difficult sometimes to do things God’s way when there is a lot of pressure to ‘go with the flow’ of mass opinion.
One thing I do know for sure, that God is real, that He loves each one of us equally – whether you have had the most awful life or attitudes or the most wonderful life and attitudes. He weighs everything and everyone on just scales – love, mercy and grace.
My life is not one big bed of roses and I struggle with day to day things like the next person but I’m never alone, never left to my own devices or feel like there’s no way out. I’ve my own personal trainer that keeps me in shape – God’s Holy Spirit. With ‘his’ help I’m not left floundering in the dark or wondering if when I die there is more … I know there is! The reality is that
- There is a God
- He loves you
- He wants a relationship with you (not just in times of trouble)
- There is no such person as a ‘hopeless’ case
- It’s not about religion but a relationship and there’s one thing you can do to find out if there’s a God – go looking for Him!
If you want to know more about the Church I attend, visit http://www.vinecf.org or visit
to find out details about an Alpha course near you.
It is a great introduction to the Christian faith. You can be as outspoken as you like, it is designed for those who have no intention of going to an actual Church to find out about God, who would feel ‘cornered’ in a Church environment, but still want to find out if there is any reality in having a ‘relationship’ with God.